While there is a strange twisted element of joy when I’m writing pages and pages of bitching, the horrible bureaucratic period has ended and I no longer feel the same resentment toward Berlin. In fact, I’m feeling quite the opposite (just as everyone probably expected).

On April 6, I met with a graduate student in the Americanistik department to discuss my studies. I was still reeling from the horrible experiences I had in the days prior, so I was looking forward to just talking about what I should expect for the future. I didn’t have a lot to say or ask, I just wanted to get my bearings and make sure I had someone to turn to if I got overwhelmed. I hadn’t anticipated how sweet Manuela would be, and she even too me on a tour Kreuzberg, including visiting an old hospital that was converted to an art gallery. It was right next to where the wall used to be, and it was really cool and somewhat eerie to imagine being a patient in that hospital and being able to see the wall from your window.

This is me, leaning against a strange nose man painted on the wall.

Manuela!

A few days later, I got crepes at Anna Blume with my friends Katie and Jake, who I met through Kustos “cultural training”.

Katie and Jake with what's left of their yummies

Mmmmm it was delicious. And sooo pretty, I wish I had gotten a picture of my plate before I devoured it. Guess I’ll just have to go back. Darn.

Last Sunday, I had my first German flea market experience at Mauerpark with Jake and our friend Pierce (whose name isn’t actually Pierce. But we’re trying to make Pierce stick so I can’t spread around his real name). It was the coolest thing. I see myself going back every single week (I went again today). Here’s a little taste of the experience:

Feather sweater.

This jacket is my new wardrobe staple. Not kidding.

Jake cheesin' in his new jacket

Pierce in a kickass coat. It was unfortunately not purchased. :(

There was also a little beer garden type thing with a sand pit and beach chairs, so of course we grabbed some brewskis and Wurst and lounged at the end of it all.

Classic Pierce.

Man, I feel like this post was super boring. To be quite honest, I did a bad thing by waiting so long to post because the emotions of each day are a bit difficult to recall. Hopefully something exciting will happen in the next couple of days so I have an excuse to write another post. The problem is, the events that affect me the most are always the simplest. Eating doners and drinking beer on a bridge (“the cool people bridge”) with Jake, having a nice breakfast with Julie and Micha, emerging from the U-Bahn station with Katie and always getting lost despite thinking we know exactly where we need to go. These things are my absolute favorite. But at the time, they don’t seem picture-worthy, and I have a hard time explaining what it is that makes me so happy, so it’s difficult to write a post about it. Hopefully I’ll be able to capture the feeling in writing at some point, so I can look back on it.

I expected today to be a calm day, a day to check some important things off my to-do list and feel accomplished. It’s possible I am both incompetent and dramatic, and someone else with half a brain would have been able to reach this goal. Not this bitch. My two goals were: 1) Register at the Bürgeramt (registration office) to declare myself a resident of Berlin, and 2) Get to Humboldt between 10am and noon for “Immatrikulation” (which I assumed would be to get my student ID card and whatnot).

I got on the U-Bahn around 10:15 after a nice, big (stolen) breakfast with Julie, Aunt Karrie, Uncle Marty, and the little cousins at Karrie and Marty’s hotel. I ate so much, I was literally one shove from a Frau away from getting off at the next stop and tossing my cookies onto the nearest trash receptacle. But I took a few deep breaths and labored on. It took me three transfers to different trains to get where I needed to go, but I finally found the stop and was pleased with myself for doing it all alone. I emerge from the U-Bahn station to find myself among a bunch of HUGE buildings with names I don’t understand. I ran up and down the street for 20 minutes trying to find the Bürgeramt, until I finally decided to ask someone at a local business where it is. “Es ist da druben!” RIGHT by the U-Bahn station I came out of. Screw getting pissed of about it, I go inside and everything is in German, crazy big words I don’t understand. I figure out I need to take a number and wait. I’m number 222. After a few minutes, I go into an office to see if I really have to wait since I’m a German citizen and just need a Freedom of Movement pass. I ask, “ist Englisch OK?” The lady shakes her head. What the fuck are you doing working in a registration office then? So I say, “ich bin eine Studentin. Ich komme aus Amerika, aber ich habe ein Deutsches Pass. Was soll ich machen?” She gave me a form and told me to wait for my number to be called. I took the form, filled it out, and looked at the most recent number called: 158. Fuck me. It’s 11:30 at this point. Fuck it, I have to go to Humboldt.

I get to Humboldt around 11:55 and I am speed walking like I’ve never speed walked before. This school is a maze so I’m trying to follow the few black and white, 8.5″x11″ flyers they have posted for Immatrikulation, but at one point outside, they just stop. I assume that means it must be through the nearest door, so I go in and it’s a goddamn cafe. The hell. So I ask the lady working if she knows where “Immatrikulation” (which I can’t pronounce like a German for the life of me) is, and she gives me this dumbfounded look and says she has no idea. So I’m running around frantically for a little, until I happen to run into an Italian PhD student who happens to be looking for the same thing I am. He speaks excellent German but I can’t understand him because of his freaking accent, and obviously I can’t speak to him whatsoever, so I’m mostly nodding and giggling at inappropriate moments and just generally being a herp derp. We finally find the desk where we need to be, I am sweating like a motherfucker, and I get to the front of the line, where I spell my last name in half German half English, which doesn’t work when you have vowels in your name because German and English conveniently pronounce different vowels the same way. 

So that takes a little bit, and the guy barely speaks any English so it was painful for us to communicate, then he says I need to go downstairs and pay my student fees. I backtrack the maze I just solved, get to the cashier, only to find it’s closed from 12-1 (it’s 12:15). I considered going back to the Bürgeramt and praying I would get there just in time for my number to be called, but decided against it. So I go to the cafe, buy a coffee, try to connect to wifi which of COURSE doesn’t work. I learned later it’s complicated as fuck to connect to it. So I put a piece of paper in front of me to pretend to read, while really I was just sitting there waiting for time to pass. I read over the paper I was sent back in January that told me all the formalities I had to get through, and confirmed it said I can pay my fees with cash or card. Then it’s 1, I go back to the cashier, get to the front of the line, give the cashier my card and, “… cash only.” So the cashier directed me to the nearest bank. Deutsche Bank, exit from the main entrance of Humboldt, turn right, and keep going straight. I do this, walk for probably 1-2 km, NO DEUTSCHE BANK. I’m asking businesses, people on the street, no one knows where a goddamn bank is. 

I literally walk aimlessly until I talk to a business that happens to be right next to a place with a bunch of cash machines. I take out the money, which probably cost me an arm and a leg but I don’t give a damn at this point. I walk all the way back to the cashier, pay my stuff. Then it’s time to confirm my insurance. I go back to where I was earlier and go to the room where I was directed. There are multiple things going on in this room and it is really hard for me to tell where I am supposed to be. I see two business-looking guys at a table with a placard that reads “Krankenkasse” (I think) which means like, sick cashier. So I’m like, “is this where I go for… Insurance?” They don’t speak any English either so I’m ripping my hair out while they are trying to explain to me that I need to decide whether to keep my travel insurance or buy their German insurance, and they’re treating me like a moron because they’re trying to convince me having German insurance is better and I AM a moron because I can’t understand half of what they’re saying. They give me a form I don’t fully understand, so I leave to go fill it out. They said they would be there until 4, and it’s like 2:30.

I’ve almost had it at this point, and I am DYING to find some wifi and cry to my parents. The only place I know of the consistently has wifi is Starbucks, so that’s where I went. There’s on about 10 minutes from my school, but every time I’ve been there, it’s been super crowded. Today was no exception. So I buy a coffee and the biggest, chocolatiest cupcake I could find and squeeze into the only seat available, which is at a stool facing the window. Whatever, I wolf down my cupcake but feel too awkward to call on the phone, especially since my parents might not even be awake. 

At about 3 I realize I won’t even be able to go back to Humboldt unless I get some support, so I stand in a corner and call my parents. And immediately start crying. Not loud crying. Silent, tears streaming down my face crying, so I try to pretend I’m looking at mugs or something so no one can see my face. They console me, tell me I’m so brave, which always makes me cry more. So thanks a lot mom and dad. 

Eventually I fill out the form and get back to Humboldt around 3:45. I’m not even sure what I filled out and signed, but I give it to them, and everything seems okay. They hand me back a form that appears to be a confirmation that I have insurance. I try to hide my puffy eyes and say, “Es tut mir sehr Leid. Ich war so schwer für euch.” (“I’m so sorry. I was so hard for you guys.” Wow, I just realized that doesn’t even make sense in English.) Then he says, “Du? Nein.” I still don’t know if he was being sarcastic or nice, but I’m going to pretend it was nice because, you know, ignorance is bliss and whatever. 

After going to another Starbucks and connecting with some friends and family, I came home and cried in Julie’s arms. She gave me Nutella and bread and that was quite possibly the best possible end to the worst possible day.